A young man gets a tattoo of an expensive yacht on his back.
By the time he turns 70, the expensive yacht is a shipwreck.

Something to think about, eh.

A young man finally goes to Las Vegas with his gambling buddies.

After a full day of gambling they meet up in the local bar.  All his buddies are complaining about losing money, the young man is not.

He tells his friends that every time he played the machine he won!
"Every time I put a dollar in," he says " I got four quarters back!"

His friends look at him and say "You were playing the change machine st**id!"

Alaska Islands
Alaska's Aleutian Islands stretch over the 180th Meridian and into the Eastern hemisphere, making Alaska the easternmost and westernmost U.S. state.

Pandas
Pandas are not bears.  Zoologists place them in the raccoon family.